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driving-in-the-sampala:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

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(Source: penceyprepofficial)

downboy:

wintry-mix:

discopunkk:

OMGs. If the 50 Shades of Grey movie looked like this I’d be in line right now waiting till February!

I’m not even in this fandom and I nearly blew a fucking gasket watching this. If Sebstan is strange compelling to you and if D/s is your jam, just click play.

Huh, ok well i guess i’ll be thinking about dudes kissing shoes all day, thanks tumblr. <3

Some words I just have to say about emotionally abusive relationships

idontlikemyhairneat:

As you can tell by the title, I’m going to talk about some stuff that might be difficult for some people to read, so don’t carry on if that is you and you don’t fancy it.

Here’s an inescapable, depressing thing about having been in an abusive relationship: no matter how many years have passed, you’re still terrified that the other person will find a way to weasel themselves back into your life, somehow. Even if you go for months without thinking about them, bam! One day that thought will just hit you out of the blue. It might be because you see them talking to your friends on social media, or it might be for absolutely no reason at all.

If you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship where the other person repeatedly and actively makes you feel worthless and controls your life, find the strength to leave. Surround yourself with friends and make that break. If you find yourself in a relationship that’s starting to become physically abusive, get the fuck out of there right away. I know it’s easier said than done to the ratio of talking about scaling a mountain and actually scaling a mountain, but you can’t stay in there. It’ll kill you.

How do you even know you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship? It can be difficult to see it from the inside. It took me ages to realise, AGES to realise that it wasn’t something toxic and broken in myself that made the other person act this way. Does the other person make you feel bad, as a person? Do they keep you from doing things in your own time and seeing your own friends? Do they use emotional blackmail to get you to stay in and do things for them? Do they threaten self-harm if you dissent or try to leave them? Do they turn everything around to make you feel it’s YOUR fault they’re acting out? Do they frequently undermine you, your opinions, at home and in front of people? Do they use secret things you told them about yourself in a moment of closeness as ammunition against you when it’s opportunistic to them?

All of those seem like huge warning bells that you’d think would go off in your head right away, but emotional manipulation is slow, tricky, subtle. Crashing lows get coupled with dizzying highs during which you feel like this is the happiest you ever could be. You think to yourself, “he’s not hitting me, so it can’t be abusive”. To this day, I sometimes still wake up in the night with a niggling doubt that it WAS me, that I deserved it. Logic and learned behaviours don’t go hand-in-hand.

I didn’t set out to write an essay, but goddammit, some things you need to get off your chest. Otherwise they just rot inside of you. If this ever happened to you, to a lesser or worse extent, I hope you found the strength to keep going. Listen to your head and body about what you need to live your life. By staying in a relationship like that, you’re not helping yourself and you sure as hell aren’t helping the other person become a better person, either.

As Kathleen Hanna sings, “the things you tried to kill, I found a way to grow” - in my head, that’s simultaneously the best way to keep going and the best revenge on someone who tried to control you. And you’ll think about it in terms of revenge a lot, and that’s okay, you have a right to be angry for as long as you need to be. Cherish that anger, to some extent. It means you found something within yourself that says “not me, not anymore”. And it means that you’re moving on.

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